horrors of speeches

I hate giving speeches. I hate talking in front of groups of people. I hate the blood pressure rise, the pounding in my chest, my stomach hits the floor and I feel like my mind goes for a stroll and leave my body on it's own to fend for itself. In short, I hate giving speeches.

BUT professors - and more specifically my T.A. - don't care about my aversion. All quarter long, my persuasive writing class has been building up to us giving 5-6 minute speeches. Mine was today. I should have practiced Sunday... or Monday... or last night. I just couldn't face it. So I ended up practicing it this morning at 8 am just before class. I'm not good with writing tons down so I thought it would be better "off the cuff." Well in my one and only practice run this morning, my speech ran 20 minutes long. That of course is WAY too long. I think I ended up jabbering on for about 6 minutes during the actual speech, but I had to skip so many talking points that I don't think I did a very good job. PLUS I'm not even sure which points I skipped since my brain went to lunch during the whole thing. Sure my lips were moving, my hands were gesturing but I have no idea what I actually said. The only thing I'm sure of is that my jokes (the only two I tried) didn't go over and shook my confidence even more.

At least the dam thing is done though. It's been hanging over my head all quarter. One more test in that class, and I can write off the whole experience of that class. Thank you god for letting me survive another speech!

happy, happy! joy! joy!

The rain has stopped, and the clouds have parted. A ray of pure sunshine strikes my perfect moment... I got the call. THE call. I did in fact get the internship. YES! Apparently they didn't call me last week because of two of the managers each of whom thought they'd called me to give me the good news. Yes, yes... uhhhh, yes. I can't tell you what a relief this is to me. I was seriously beginning to wonder if I just suck in person. They all sit around saying that I look good on paper, but they don't' actually want to work with me.

Things just feel like they're getting better and better to me. I've been in a blue funk for weeks, but school will be over in a few weeks, I got the internship, I tested out of two French courses and my current job is going great, too. My boss wants me to work on an outside project with him designing a web site. Which is great because I really don't' have a recent web site to add to my portfolio. PLUS, he's giving me a crack at redesigning the company's logo. It may not go anywhere, but I'm flattered he's letting me try.

grandeous dreams

You know everyonce in a while (like now) I read a book of essays. Recently published, amusing, almost anecdotal in nature. And I think to myself, hey I could do that. I could write a book of essays. I've got tons to say. I'm way interesting in my head, so I'm sure that'll translate to paper quite simply... Then I get here and stare at a blank screen. I finger the keyboard a little, my eyes roam around a while. I purse my lips and sometimes make a silly little noise as if I need to break the tension. Finally I'll settle on a loose little topic and hope the genius will just poor right out of me. Hardly genius, I know. But I guess you get what you pay for on a blog. Maybe I need a tape recorder. I'm funnier on the fly. As quickly as I type, there is still a thought delay. Maybe I just suck on delay. Can you still be an author if you use a tape recorder instead of a keyboard or pen? I'd like to think so. That way there's still hope for me. I can keep the dream alive a little longer.

I liked having an image yesterday to post, so I'm posting something else I'm working on for work. It's still in progress and needs some serious additions made, but I like it. I don't say that often about my work, so it's a bit of a deal for me.

a first for everything

This is a first for me. I designed a mailing piece for work and they aren't going to run it because it looks too good. It's too professional for a government institution they said. As a government, non-profit we aren't allowed to look like we're trying to compete with companies like AT&T and the private sector companies. Someone actually said something I designed would look like something a major company would put out. While on the one hand, I feel very complimented... I'm also hurt because the week of work is down the tubes and no one will ever see it. I may keep it for the old portfolio, but it will forever be tainted for me. I'd hate to put something that didn't run into my portfolio. I love that all my stuff in there is actually stuff that went through the whole approval process and still came out on the other end looking good...

Here's the front and back. Now I don't actualy think it looks like an AT&T piece, but someone did....

alone in the weeds

What's happened?! All of my blogging buddies seem to have bailed on me. I admit I've been lapse myself, but here I am trying to keep the dream alive. If this is something we all given up on, just let me know so I can quit too. I mean it's 12:43am. I've had a really long day. I worked and had classes all day and then I stayed at work until after 9pm doing homework. Now here I am about to call it a day, but I figured I needed to sent out emails and update the old blog. But if we're done. We're done. All fads come to an end. Everybody's released their pet rock back in to the wild... we've forgotten the steps to the electric slide... there is no use in trying to fight the dying of the light. I'm going to keep this up for a little while longer, but I don't like being here all by myself you know...

a good time was had by all

My interview went well yesterday. I felt good all dressed up, but I wouldn't want to do that everyday. Dress pants and pointy shoes make me feel like I've just gotten a makeover on What Not to Wear. Seriously though, the interview seemed to go well. I hopefully will hear from them next week sometime. They were very impressed with my portfolio and I was told by the head of their department that my "typography is very good" which means I make type look good. I was also complimented on my writing skills because I wrote some of the copy myself.

Mother's day is coming up. I need to go and work on my homework for next week. I think I'll be visiting with my mom this weekend and I need to get a jump start on my projects....

interview

Well, I don't have to go to work today. I will be getting dressed up and going to an interview instead. I am interviewing for a summer internship. Why does it have to be so humid today? My hair is not cooperating with me today -especially when I want it to look sleek and professional. Instead, my hair has decided to flip out. I hate that. I feel like Gidget with a bubble flip. I'll try to tame it when I go home to change after class, but I'm sure I'll be unable to contain it.

Wish me luck.

rumors

Well, don't believe the rumors people! I am still breathing. I know I've seemed to drop off the face of the Earth, but I've clawed my way back on.

It's been a busy week. A few tests, a paper and the homework keeps coming. I am really looking forward to summer. All is well for the most part in my neck of the woods. I'm hoping to hear from McGraw-Hill about an appointment for an interview for one of their summer internships. Since I haven't really made the time to apply for anymore internship, I'm really putting all my eggs in one basket. Please cross all fingers and any toes you are able for me.

My plans for tonight is to work on a short paper for homework - only 1-3 pages. It's going to be sort of an outline for the speech I have to give later in the month. Yuck. A messy house, a sick full of dirty dishes, laundry and this paper. Being in college is just as glamorous as I remember....

taking the punishment

It's day two of the the consequences of not doing homework over the weekend. I have a 4 page paper due tomorrow that I haven't started. So I'm staying late at work and working on it here. The husband needs the comptuer room tonight for a paper of his own and staying at work is better than dragging myself off to a lab. At least at work I have my trusty sidekick, my foot rest. And if you know me, you know a footrest is VERY important.

Off I go. Much work to do.... maybe I'll check my email first....

waves of apathy

What a lazy student I am. I can't even update this blog more than once a week now. I could make the time, I suppose. I'm letting down the "fans." I've been reading too much and playing video games too much. I'm not focusing on my school work very much. I'm doing well in my classes, but I feel guilt and stress because I'm doing stuff at the last minute. This week a wave of apathy has struck me big time. There I was progressing through the quarter very well. I was doing my homework on time or early and I was looking into internships. Now I've let everything slip. I haven't applied for any internships besides one. I need to get a grip!

I can't wait for this quarter to be over so I can just work! To have evenings and weekends guilt free! Oh, I can't wait.

Ann